Ready for Christmas

Are you ready for Christmas?

Now, when most people are asked that question, they turn over shopping lists and meal plans in their minds. Have they checked everything off their kid's Christmas lists? Have they found the perfect gift for their significant other? Have they gathered everything they need for the perfect Christmas dinner? Have they prepared themselves mentally for prospective family feuds, potentially dangerous and raucous crowds grabbing for the last minute sale items, or possible dinner disasters?

Our commercial and materialistic society tends to raise up generations with the mindset that Christmas revolves around money, sales, toys, clothes, food and decorations. With the current state of the economy, the holidays can be a stressful time. With this in mind, are you ready for Christmas? Or do we need to be reminded, yet again, of the true meaning of this very special holiday?

The true meaning of Christmas is not found in the above paragraphs. Neither is Christmas about family, friends, and loved ones. It is not about giving or receiving. And it is not about settling in the warmth of home with a beautiful winter wonderland lying outside your door. Rather, the true meaning of Christmas is found in sacrifice: the sacrifice of submission, obedience, and humility.

First, there was Mary. Mary, young and betrothed with a full life ahead of her is asked to sacrifice her will for the will of God. She risks her reputation, security, and even her life at a time when adultery was taken very seriously. Despite fear upon entering into the realm of the unknown, Mary humbly submits to the will of God. Where would we be if not for the Mary's of this world?

Then there was Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice. Christ the Son of God sacrificed his will to be born on earth in a humble stable, live a humble life, and die on a humble cross. His perfect submission to the Father resulted in the salvation of the world. Additionally, God suffered the sacrifice of his beloved son for a world that had rejected, betrayed, and hated him.

So, in asking if we are ready for Christmas, what are we really asking? If we remember the true meaning of Christmas, we are asking whether we will let the reality of God's sacrifice to impact us in a way which transforms our minds, consumes our hearts, and changes our lives forever.

So, are you ready for Christmas? Are you ready, in remembering God's sacrifice, to sacrifice your will, life, and dreams for the will that God has planned? Are you ready, in remembering the humility of Christ's birth, to humbly allow God to place you where he can use you best? Finally, are you ready, in remembering the submission of Mary, to submit to the will of God despite how uncomfortable it may be?

Are you ready for Christmas?

For Us

Oh beautiful symphony
That rushes towards me
Enrapturing beauty
Oh how it moves me

Line-colors stringing
Brush strokes following
Perfect melody effecting
The night sky singing

Waves of many a hue
Pull and tumble to
The shore, a sequined blue
Oh the beauty for me and you

Pulse

Heart pounding, leaking
High cliffs on either side, awaiting me
They anticipate while I listen to
The pulsing of the rain
Gaining speed, obeying
The billowing wind as it sweeps
The darkened and divided streets
The crevices of my heart
Shadowed spaces, undeciding
Clouded by the storm, undying
A torrent - crying, crying
The sky, my eyes: each
To go with the wind
Or to go with my will
What will fall - will it wash away
Will it sweep the roads clean
And reveal a more beautiful me

The Heart of a King

Esther. I love her story. She is amazing. She is bold, brave, and beautiful. She allows her life to be used for God; in turn, he takes an orphaned Jewish girl and raises her up to queen of Persia. God, will you make me queen like Esther one day? Probably not. But a girl can dream. A woman's dreams, however more sophisticated than those of a little girl's, still reflect that of an innocent child's. Matthew 19:14: "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"

God made us in his image. Thus so, we are instilled at the core of our being with a love, a potential for power (with Jesus inside us), and a value that God alone can give. The desires of both men and women reflect these truths that we were made to worship God, by reflecting his beauty and accomplishing his will in our lives through the empowerment of the Spirit by proclaiming Christ in words and in actions. In words, we bear witness to the salvation of Christ that belongs to all men. In actions, we love and serve and sacrifice our lives that we may reach the lost for him.

Esther is an inspiring story. Though she seems to at first live life in obscurity as a woman, a Jew, and an orphan, she becomes the most powerful and adored woman in the world at that time. But she is not raised up for her own glory. She is raised up for the glory of God. She would do his will, despite the risk to her own life. Esther 4:15-16: "Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 'Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.'" Esther lived for God and glorified him by risking her life to fulfill his will. Like the apostle Paul, "For to me, to live is Christ, to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). So it was for Esther, so should it be for us who call ourselves Christians.

What I love most, though, about Esther the woman is her heart. She is captivating. God made it so that she finds favor with whomever she comes into contact. Esther 2:8 and 9 say, "... Esther also was taken to the king's palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. The girl pleased him and won his favor." Also, in chapter 2 verse 17, we find that, "... the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins." Esther, however, had more than outward beauty. It was not her looks alone that caused the king to favor her as we see later in the story. For all who do not know the story of Esther, let me recap. The antagonist of this piece of history is Haman (well, ultimately Satan). Haman hates the Jews and plots their destruction. Esther, being a Jew and also the queen, is the only one who can save them. So she goes to the king uninvited (which could lead to her death) and asks that he spare her family. The king grants her request. Haman is killed and an edict is passed, allowing all Jews in all the provinces of Persia and Media to fight back, kill, and plunder all those who attack them. After this day of death finally ends, Xerxes, the king, goes to Esther, his queen. Here is what happens: "The number of those slain in the citadel of Susa was reported to the king that same day. The king said to Queen Esther, 'The Jews have killed and destroyed five hundred men and the ten sons of Haman in the citadel of Susa. What have they done in the rest of the king's provinces?'" (Esther 9:11-12). In other words, here's what the king is saying: "Your family the Jews have defended themselves well. Just look at all the destruction and the hundreds of men they have killed in this one city alone. Can you imagine the great numbers of people, my subjects, that they have decimated throughout my entire kingdom?" And here are his next thrilling words: "Now what is your petition? It will be given you. What is your request? It will also be granted" (Esther 9:12). Despite the fact that this unpopular group of people, the Jews, have killed perhaps hundreds of thousands of people throughout the king's empire all because Esther was a Jew unwilling to see her family be destroyed, the king asks her with unwavering honesty, "Is there anything, anything at all, I can do for you? I would do anything for you. Anything you ask, it will be done, this I promise!" Esther captivated the king of Persia, but I also believe that she captivated the King of creation. As do you. "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord" (Psalm 45:11).

Your heart is a treasure, your life has a purpose, and your soul has a destiny. You were created for relationship with the King of Kings who formed your heart and loves you more than you could ever imagine. Lately, I have been rereading a book called Captivating by John and Stasi Edlredge that tells of the captivating wonder and awe, specifically, of a woman's heart. The authors state, "... God knows that our heart is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love. This 'wellspring of life' within us is the very essence of our existence, the center of our being. Your heart... is the most important thing about you" (8).

For us to be able to reflect the life of God, we must first reflect his heart. We are capable of doing this by God's power, because he created us in his image and restores our innocence through the forgiving grace Jesus won for us at the cross. We were made in God's image and though sin marred our beauty, God makes all things new. Psalm 149:13 states that, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Our hearts reflect the heart of God when we burn with a passion for his name; when we love with his righteous and overwhelming love coursing through our beings; and when we fulfill our purpose by loving him with all our hearts through worship, adoration, and obedience as well as proclaiming his truth to the lost so that they, too, may come to worship him.

Your heart is a heart that reflects the beauty of God. Let his love transform you. Then go out and with his love, transform the world.

Struggle

Life is a struggle; no doubt about it. Every moment of every day we are struggling. Struggling to study, pay the bills, finish a paper, put the kids to bed (if you have any), get home for dinner on time, make shopping plans, practice a sermon, schedule doctor appointments, and make time for friends - to name just a few. We struggle not to worry about the things that cause us frustration and stress. We struggle not to be stressed and then we struggle not to struggle. We struggle to stay on top of things, and we struggle to give all control to God. All the while God is telling us to take our eyes off the things of this world and focus for just a second on him. These struggles are the daily, routine ones that occur in everyday life. But life consists of more than just these kinds of trials.

Many people - no - all people deal with some kind of life-altering struggle. Many times it's the death of a loved one, a sudden disease, a tragic car accident, unhealthy relationships, loss of a career, abandonment, estrangement, harassment, addiction, depression, alcoholism, pornography, rape, abuse, fear, poverty, divorce, or bullying - and I haven't covered half of them. These struggles threaten to tear apart families, drive people to suicide, break hearts, and kill spirits.

One of the greatest struggles in my life occurred when I was thirteen and we moved from our home town in Fort Wayne, Indiana to third-world Christiana, Jamaica. My parents had become missionaries. At that time, being a missionary to me meant sacrifice. It meant moving away from my home, my church, my school, my friends, and my family. It meant a big change I felt unprepared for. And it meant I was not in control and suddenly my future was not this straight line that I had so ignorantly imagined it to be when I was a junior higher.

While I eventually learned to love my life as an MK because I found my joy in God and in following his will, I will never forget the struggle I went through, nor how it impacted my life. Having lived only 19 years, I know I have so many more lessons to learn and trials to experience. And now being able to look back on my struggles, I begin to understand how very blessed I am. My struggles are little compared to the girl sold into prostitution in India, or the Christians being persecuted in Laos. But lately I've been learning not to minimize God's heart; he is big enough to care about each and every one of the little things we struggle with in life as he does for the big things. And he does care. Enormously. He does not like to see us hurt, to see us fall. That is why as we are walking, climbing, and sometimes stumbling through this life, it is immensely important that we have God standing beside us, directing our steps, helping us off the ground, and even carrying us at times when our strength is not enough. Because though God does not like to see us suffer, he has made it clear that to be a follower of God, it is something we must endure.

My thinking has changed a lot in the last few years as I have handed over my mind to God to transform. Being a Christian does not mean we will have to endure meaningless hardships that will suck all the joy and purpose out of life. Rather, being a Christian means we have the enormous honor of accepting the commission from the Most High God and sharing in his glory so that lost sheep might find their shepherd and be brought home to the kingdom of God. Paul tells us so bluntly what to expect in this life in 2 Corinthians 11:24-28.

"Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?"

This verse is not saying that we will all be persecuted in this fashion because of our faith. But God's Word is intent when it states that we will have trials in this life directly because we choose to follow him. But we should "consider it pure joy... whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). Through our trials we also "...rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4).

Paul, after enduring many struggles states, in 2 Timothy 4:7, a very simple statement, or a victorious proclamation. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." We are not here to toil on this earth for all eternity. We struggle and we fight against the spiritual forces of this earth, we are shaken, crushed, persecuted, and struck down. But God's promises will not come back void. We will one day see the face of Jesus and worship with every tribe, tongue, and nation. God's victory will ring forth from every mountaintop. We do not labor in vain. We labor because we have hope in the victory that is coming.

Paul's statement was a statement of faith carried out to victory. He lived his life for God and though he suffered, he knew God was always in control and at the end of the day, the victory belongs to him and him alone. And I know that at the end of my life I want to go to heaven and hear my God say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

What do you want to hear? By that time, the struggles we endure on this earth will be but mere echoes and whispers, dying and fading into nothingness as we dwell in the eternal light of our Savior God.

Here is my challenge. Fight the good fight. Finish the race. Keep the faith. You will not be disappointed.

Beauty from Ashes

Little girl, broken hearted
Will you dare to love again?
You fear to risk it all and find
You're not equal to the pain

You close your eyes and try to block
The blinding light of day
And plug your ears so you can't hear
The fallen dreams of yesterday

Fear has locked you in its grasp
And whispers all night long
Words of torment, hate, and shame
That tell you, you were wrong

Dirt encrusted on your feet
From travelling this rough road
Shoulders slumped from the weight
Of a heavy load

You feel so lost and hopeless
That you could still be loved
Your heart does not believe that
You are so beloved

With every breath you're falling back
And hate has stolen your heart
How long will it be before
You finally fall apart?

God's love for you is genuine
If only you could see
The beauty that can come from ashes
And truth that sets you free

"...and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow upon them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:3

Good-Bye

I will miss my dog, Jack, as well. :(

I have always been the kind of person to push away unwelcome feelings such as nervousness, sadness, or worry until the last possible moments when suddenly it hits me: I'm moving out tomorrow. I like to keep a cool head - and worrying about something is no fun at all. I tend to go through normal life as if nothing new or different is coming my way sooner than I may realize until the moment of change is right upon me. Another tendency I have is not to like long good-byes. Short and sweet to get it over with is my policy. If I'm going to see someone again, I like to look forward to seeing you, rather than dwell in the sadness of saying good-bye. So I had not really thought a lot about what it would be like living away from my family and on my own for good - until very recently. Leaving my sister had an especially heavy impact on me.

Growing up, me and my sister shared the same room for many years (until recently - in the last two years we'd had our separate rooms). We are four years apart in age. I remember the stages of our relationship like this: as little kids we fought a lot but we also played together a lot. I thought she was a brat and she thought I was meany - at least, for 60% of the time. (I'm trying to be positive, here). Then we got a little older. When we spent our year in the states going to two different public schools, we did not spend as much time together. We still hung out a little, however, and did manage to squeeze in an occasional fight now and again. These past few years, though, our relationship has taken a different turn, as I finished up high school and began college and she ended her middle school years and is now a sophomore. We talk a lot more than we used to. We hang out, we laugh, we tease each other, and we still get on each other's nerves, but blow-ups are really sparse. In fact, most of our fights have turned into little spats that we have now and then - but nothing major. My sister asked me about a month ago if she was my best friend and I said yes. We're great friends and I love her so much. I'm proud of her - what she's accomplished and who she's growing up as and I love her confident, bold and compassionate personality. And I know she loves me too. Because I'm leaving for college tomorrow while she and our brother are in school, I reminded her to wake me up before she leaves to say good-bye. She nodded her assent and I turned so she would not see the sudden and unexpected moisture in my eyes.

In the last 6 years, I have lived in four different countries and have, thus, had to contend with saying quite a few good-bye's and see-ya-later's. Each time, however, God taught me a little bit more about trusting him to lead us to a place where we meet new people, find more friends, and make a new home. I am often comforted by the fact that God's love can be found in any part of the world and I'll never be lost with Him in the lead. I am looking forward to this new season in my life and am extremely excited for the plans that God has for me. I also remind myself that I'll see my family and home in Mexico again - it's not a last good-bye. (I've even got a return ticket to think about if I start to get homesick sometime this coming semester :)

I've written a lot of poems in the last few years and I like some of my older ones better than those I'd written more recently. I'd like to share one with you that I wrote a few years ago about good-bye's, titled Home Again.

Let the memories bring you home
Back to the place where you belong
Never forget, regret the past
Everything changes, nothing earthly lasts
Though far from home, from all that's known
What you love your heart won't leave
Don't disbelieve what you cannot see
Never abandon, forget the truth
Never fear where life takes you
Don't ask questions, wonder why
You'll be home again, never say good-bye

My Arms

Remember to give your all everyday
Enter the throne on your knees and pray
Follow your dreams, hold on and stand firm
Love with your heart and be loved in return

Near is the day when you'll see me again
Forgotten in laughter any semblance of pain
Leave the storms and the winter outside 
Enter my embrace and with me reside

You promised me once you'd never forget
You'd join me in paradise; your heart was set
So don't be discouraged that the way is hard
Or afraid to come with a heart that is scarred

Instead run to me with your questions and fears
Never hide from me your doubts or your tears
When you are lonely or this life brings you harm
You will find refuge in the warmth of my arms

Questions and Answers

Some photos from a friend's garden in Connecticut :) 

Life as an MK is full of different foods, cultures, and languages. It also involves much travel. Since I was thirteen, I have been on at least two plane trips a year. I've found that the flying experience can vary from being completely horrible to mildly pleasant and is usually coupled with different levels of fatigue, cramped muscles, and stress. The last flight that I took back to Mexico, however, made for one of my favorites. My first departure had been from Indiana and the second from Georgia. By the time my second flight came along, I was tired and ready to be finally home. I had planned to be spending the next couple of hours either sleeping, watching a movie, or getting lost in the pages of a Ted Dekker book. As it is, I was not often social on long flying days. However, as fate would have it, my neighbor on the plane struck up a conversation with me before we had left the ground and that would last for the majority of the flight. Had I known I would be speaking and listening in Spanish for some hours that day, I would have reviewed my notes and brought a dictionary. However, for the first hour I got along fairly without either, to my great surprise and relief. After a few minutes speaking, he remarked that my Spanish was pretty good. I smiled, shrugged sheepishly, and thanked him; the next moment I was looking out the window and silently berating myself. Had I actually just giggled? But the moment passed and the conversation continued. We spent time on topics such as where we were going and where we came from, where I went to school and where he worked, and other subjects like interests, family, and religion. Nearing the end of a few hours, however, my Spanish grew worse as my head became foggier. I tripped and stumbled all over myself as I attempted to answer his questions about Christianity and what I believed. I stuttered along, getting frustrated, as I forgot the words I would have liked to use and confused my tenses and grammar. However, he was a patient listener and his curiosity encouraged and emboldened me to press on.

After we landed my head felt brainwashed from all the thinking and concentrating that it takes me when speaking Spanish. I strode up to the custom’s counter and was told to fill in a part of my form that I had accidentally neglected. Of course, the only thing I could find in my purse to write with was a sparkly blue gel pen. I smiled apologetically and scribbled out my information. By the end of it all, I felt ridiculous and thought I looked as though I had never been in an airport before. 

The sight of my dad waiting outside the gate made me smile with relief and the ride home provided me with enough time to think over the conversation I had had on the plane which had given me a thrill inside. How cool is it to witness to someone who was really curious about God and the truth? As I thought this, I realized something. The questions he had asked me are the same ones that everyone who does not know God is asking, whether they speak them out loud or not. Everyone ponders the purpose of life. Even people who don't believe in purpose have to have thought about it to come to that conclusion. 


C. S. Lewis once said, "If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning." 


Whether people choose to believe it or not, we are made with purpose, and thus, that is a knowable and undeniable element of our existence. Everyone is searching for answers. Why are we alive? Why do we suffer? What happens when we die? What can satisfy us? Not everyone may be as open in their questions as the stranger on my plane, but they're there. There's a hole in their hearts where there should be God. There's despair where there should be hope and loneliness where there should be prayer. We have the answer to their questions: God. The Lost are all around us, looking for answers. When will you tell them? 

The View From Where I Sit

Light trickles down
Tear drops through the cracks

Along the winding staircase 

Onto shining glass 

Shimmering stars reflecting  

Diamonds on the walls 

On the floor pools of flame 

As the sunrise calls

Psalm 84:2

                                               

You are the owner of my heart

You are the keeper of my love

You are the writer of my life

My all and my only

My desire and hope

My whole being longs to be with the living God

My whole being longs to be with you

You gave me new life, a new name

You gave me new love, a pure heart

You gave me new peace, a great faith

New day and a new dawn

New love of life reborn

My whole being longs to be with the living God

My whole being longs to be with you

You’re the lover of my spirit

You’re the healer of my broken heart

You’re the rebuilder of my temple

My tower and shelter

My rock and my foundation

My whole being longs to be with the living God

My whole being longs to be with you

My spirit and my heart cry out to you

My soul and my flesh cling to you

My strength and mind yearn for you

I long for you with all I do

I desire you with all I am

My whole being longs to be with the Living God

My whole being long to be with you

Psalm 84:2

My soul longs, yes, faints

For the courts of the Lord;

My heart and flesh sing for joy

To the living God 

Hermanas Por Siempre

These are a few photos me and my sister took in good ol' Indiana. It's weird to think that this year we'll be in two completely different countries. I'll miss you, Sophia!

Growing Up

About a month ago, I had the great privilege of ministering to small toddlers and babies whose families are just becoming missionaries and who soon will be entering the field of their ministry in another country. The joy of serving these kids has been a tremendous blessing to me. Also, more than often in working with small children, my mind ponders what it was like to be so small and so young. In reflecting upon my own life, I think especially of how adventurous and sometimes trying growing up can be. I'd like to share these thoughts with you in a poem that I wrote on the subject a few years back.


Life Lessons

I'm packing up my life again
Life's so short, I remember when
We were all still children
But all things have their end

First you live in innocence
Unknown to yet your greater purpose
But hard times wash away the ignorance
They no more can your heart oppress

Life moves on, you learn to live
To win and lose and take and give
To not regret what you can't relive
To love, forget, and forgive

And now that I'm all grown up
I've been through worse, but still it’s hard to trust
These footsteps leading through the dust
Nothing lasts; all things turn to rust

Can't count how many times
Through many mountains I've had to climb
I've said good-bye a thousand times
Blown away like scattered wind chimes

I'm packing up my life again
Life's so short – I remember when
We were all just children
But all things have their end...